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"Many young folks may not realize that GLBTQ/LGBTQ were not always a big happy queer family. We did not even associate with each other."

As a 26-year old queer woman whose primary identification is asexual--which is a community that stands pretty closely intertwined with bi communities, nonbinary trans communities and trans communities more generally: we are still having this fight**, within queer communities. (Especially, gods help me, on Tumblr, but also in in-person spaces and other online spaces.) And we will continue to have this fight. And as Mr. Benson also pointed out, we are stronger for having it.

See, without those fights, LGBTQ spaces would be... well, just for cisgender folks, really, because the whole reason that the T got added is that transgender folks and people who'd probably ID today as transgender* spoke up and said "HEY. You keep saying this community is for everyone, but it is damn sure not paying any attention to us! Listen up, friends, and hear our experiences!" And as a whole, the community... well, did nothing, because let's be real, there's a lot of people in that community and maybe it makes more sense to think of it as several fractured communities. But enough of a critical mass of people listened that SOME difference got made.

And at the same time, bi people were saying "Hey! Can you fucking not, with the breeder jokes and the telling me to "pick a side" and saying that I spread AIDS to straight people? Can you not call us whores or insist that we'll always drop you for an opposite-gender partner! Listen up!" And... a critical mass of people listened. And things got a little better.

And frankly, all that's not even TOUCHING on the shit that my QPOC brothers and sisters and enbies have to put up with. Black queer folk in particular watch white queer folk steal their jokes and culture and file off the serial numbers, so that it then filters through to straight mainstream people. Or you can look at the racism issues that plague many queer spaces, from dating sites to appropriation of specific cultural concepts like two-spirit identities.

It's not touching the gendered issues that pop up in queer spaces either, or the class ones, or any of another hundred little veins of intersectionality that need to be talked about. But those conversations? They're a start. And if you follow along with them, they take your communities to a way better place. I want to know, how do we have these conversations here? I was angry enough about one main PSN thread to try and bring that here, hedged with even more "white women, shut up and LISTEN" commentary, but I see from Micah Gause's thread that that probably wouldn't have worked as well as I hoped.

So admins, community, how can we productively have this conversation? And admins, here's another question I want to ask you: what 'side' of people are you going to support? The 'side' of people who want to talk about intersectionality and making the space properly inclusive, which means LISTENING to the experiences and perspectives of everyone? Or the side of people who prefer unity, whatever that means, and would rather center a more mainstream experience and silence dissent?

*[half the problem here is, on a generational scale, queer communities move through preferred language, framing, and how people conceptualize their experiences quickly--over the past hundred years, we've culturally gone through many sea changes about what given words mean exactly and what's polite, which can make discussion tricky if you haven't followed up on the newest subcultural dialect.

As one of those young kids these days and also someone with a vested interest in my community's history, I tryyyy to be clear and respectful about what I'm doing with my language, but it's hard to be perfect with it. If I'm using a word that sounds funny to you, mind contacting me or commenting and we can have a conversation? ]

**[If any of you younger queer people here don't realize that this fight is still happening, to make queer-identified spaces inclusive to everyone, do let me know! I'd be happy to talk about my experiences to anyone that likes. ]